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Libby Page

Author / swimmer / optimist

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June 2019

18th June, Hunting Raven Books, Frome, 7pm: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/hunting-raven-presents-libby-page-richard-roper-tickets-61319589543

19th June, David’s Bookshop, Letchworth Garden City, 7:30pm: https://www.davids-bookshops.co.uk/events/2019/6/fiction-evening-.aspx

24th June, Linghams Booksellers, Heswal, 6:30pm: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/an-evening-with-libby-page-and-richard-roper-tickets-60808660340

25th June, Urmston Library, 7:30pm: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/authors-libby-page-and-richard-roper-in-conversation-tickets-61227196192

26th June, Lowdham Book Festival, Lowdham, 1:45pm: http://www.thebookcase.co.uk/lowdham-book-festival/

October

25th October, Sherborne Literary Festival, 2pm: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/libby-page-the-lido-tickets-58374878834

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In the wise words of Ronan Keating: ‘Life’s a rollercoaster you just gotta ride it.’ This week has been a bit of a rollercoaster for no other reason than the fact I’m a human being with a whole lot of emotions. This was me yesterday feeling happy and sunny after a day hanging out with my lovely friend and her toddler. But for much of this week I’ve also been feeling really anxious for no particular reason. I’m nearing the end of the first draft of my current book but have hit a wall where I just can’t seem to get the words out. Today I took myself to an exhibition at the Portrait Gallery to give myself a break from staring at the screen but found the crowds in central London overwhelming, something that used to affect me hugely but has got much easier over recent years. The sun is shining but I can’t seem to quite feel it, it’s like I’m looking at a picture of sunshine rather than the real thing. I know an up-swing will no doubt follow soon when I feel creative and buzzy and ‘me’ again. But I’m sharing this for anyone who might be feeling a similar way today: I get it and I’m right there with you! ☀️

Hit 90,000 words today on my current book! By 90,000 words The Lido was finished, but this book seems to be keeping on for a bit longer yet... It’s interesting for me to think about how many of these words will actually end up in the finished book. Editing can be a long process and at times (ok, daily) I also worry whether all the words are so bad that maybe none of them will ever end up being read. But either way it still feels significant and worth marking. I celebrated by going to a Yin yoga class - if you’ve never done it I’d highly recommend. It’s basically a lot of lying down. Now I’m going to bake cookies. 🍪

Already looking forward to getting back to writing on Monday after spending this afternoon tidying my office (and putting up my new rainbow curtains!). Book writing is going quite well at the moment in the sense that I’m getting lots of words down on paper (no idea if they are good words though). But I’ve been writing a lot of emotionally-charged scenes and it’s been really taking it out of me. It’s silly really given the characters and the story are entirely made up, but you do get to really care about them. And it takes a lot of digging sometimes to get at the emotions and can leave me feeling worn out. It also gets hard to leave my fictional world behind and not carry the characters and all their baggage in my head. It might sound a strange comparison but I sometimes wonder whether actors feel a similar way - how they transition back to normal life after taking on the role of a character. I find having a calm, happy environment to work in helps. It grounds me to the here and now and feels like a safe place to come back to after a few hours of diving into my story. I feel so lucky to have this little space, and even though I try not to work too much at the weekend, getting it tidy and prepped for the week ahead has felt a good way to spend an afternoon. 🌈

Today I drove to IKEA! It might not seem the biggest achievement, especially as last weekend I did lots of motorway and country lane driving. But I remember so many painful trips to IKEA before I could drive, carting shelves and other furniture on the bus. During my driving lessons my route often took me by my local IKEA and I would always tell my instructor that one day I would drive myself there instead of getting the bus. But I didn’t always believe it would really happen. Learning to drive took me years and years, three instructors and countless panic attacks. But if I can learn to drive, I honestly believe I can do anything 🚙🌈

When I left my job in marketing to write full-time I imagined I would work similar hours - that I’d sit at my desk from 9-6ish typing away non-stop. I quickly found that this was impossible. After a few hours of writing in one go I usually feel wrung out, even more so if I’m working on an emotionally-charged section (like I am at the moment). I used to feel super guilty that I struggled to stay focused for longer than a few hours at a time, and felt like I had to chain myself to my desk just to escape the guilt of not ‘working’ all the time. Now I try to focus on my actual productivity rather than the time spent at my desk. I’m getting the words down on the page but in my own way. Today I wrote loads in the morning but then had lunch with a friend followed by a big nap. I wish that offices put more emphasis on productivity rather than hours in the office too. If I’m honest, switching to working for myself makes me realise how few of the hours in my 9-5 job I spent actually ‘working’ (vs sending emails, making tea, staring at my screen waiting for time to pass, chatting with colleagues). Yet the idea of a ‘9-5’ is so ingrained in us that I think often we’re judged more for the time we spend at our desks than what we actually do. I also think offices should allow time for naps. I know it makes me sound like a princess but one of my favourite things about working from home is the ability to nap! 😴Figuring out what working patterns work for me has taken some getting used to over the past couple of years but I feel like I’m gradually getting there, and trying hard to kick the guilt of what I think I ‘should’ be doing or how I ‘should’ be working.

When I was visiting my family this weekend my mum gave me a book of some of my childhood poems that she found in the garage. These represent just a tiny portion of all the writing I did as a child (much of which has since been lost). I spent most of my time either writing poems, stories or reading. Reading back through this book it truly amazes me that I am now a professional writer. Because the poems are really, really bad. Of particular note: my shocking spelling and the phase I went through of writing poems about death, war and (rather incongruously) cholera. Guys, if the little girl who wrote these can achieve her dream of becoming an author then really, anything is possible. Reading them partly makes me cringe. But partly I feel like what I actually wrote back then hardly matters. What matters is the fact I wanted to spend my free time filling whole books with my writing. I think that whatever it is that you set your mind to, loving it is the most important thing. You have to love it to stick at it, even when what you’re doing is really terrible. I HOPE that my writing has improved over time, but regardless of that the enjoyment I get from it is still there. It’s still what I want to spend my time doing. But I promise: no more poems about cholera.

Blog

Birthday swimming in the Lake District
Happiness Hack #1: Buy flowers for yourself for no reason
Running the Wales / England border
A New Year’s Day swim
Winter swimming in Stoke Newington West Resevoir

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